Girls, Guys and Manuals
by TCBN
Summary: Wendy writes a manual that she writes and hides in the girl's bathroom. The Manual instructs girls on how to get a guy. Wendy orders Alex (oc) to abide by the rules and get a guy as Wendy writes the book. Will the boys discover the manual? Will Alex get dumped because of it? Will she ket the phone ring more than three times? (straight pairings)
1. The Start

Wendy licked her right index finger and smacked the enter button on her keyboard, a wide smile on her face. This was going to be the best book in the entire universe! But first she had to figure out what to write in it. Wendy stared at the blank Word document staring blankly at her as she whipped out her mobile phone.

"Bebe!" Wendy nearly launched out of her seat as an idea came to mind, "I have an idea!"

"What's tha… it's two in the m- morning Wendy" Bebe murmured

"Sit up" Wendy ordered, "I am going to write and publish a book all about how to get a guy"

"Go drink tea and go to bed" Bebe sighed  
"NO!" Wendy cackled, "I have the biggest plan in my head, my brains hurt"

Wendy could hear Bebe turn over in her bed, voice muffled by her pillow.

"Mph" Bebe mumbled

"I'm going to do an experiment on our good friend Alex" Wendy chuckled, "I am going to analyze her techniques and write them!"

Wendy waited for Bebe to speak. Instead, she heard a slow, soft and long snore, which meant that Bebe was already asleep, phone rammed between her head and the pillow.

"Bebe" Wendy sang, "Wakey wakey"

Wendy then heard the phone get slammed against a wall, disconnecting the line. Wendy rolled her eyes and hung up, diving under her covers. This was going to be a revolution. This book was going to be hidden under the girl's bathroom for all to see and learn.

_101 clichés about dating guys_

_1. Thou shalt see the guy on thou same league _


	2. Flaming Ushankas

Stan poured himself a shot of Baileys, not entirely sure why Alex was staring at him in utter shock.

"What? You're drinking Baileys for breakfast!?" Alex gawped

"Yeah, dude" Stan shrugged, downing it's contents and pouring himself another

"That's fucked up" Alex deadpanned

"Then don't watch" Stan retorted

"Gimme that" Alex swiped at the bottle

"Give that back to me!" Stan whined Alex quickly gulped down a few mouthfuls, much to Stan's annoyance.

"Oh, now I know why you do this" Alex giggled, wiping her mouth and passing it back, feeling a little bit smiley all of a sudden.

Kenny, Kyle and Cartman arrived at the bus stop where they were standing; Stan quickly hid the bottle after taking one last swig.

"You look happy, today" Kenny stared at Alex

"Mhmm" Alex didn't dare speak, alcohol still burning her throat.

"I haven't started that geography project yet" Stan muttered

"I've done mine!" Kyle jeered

"Well, could I copy it?" Stan asked

"No, dude!" Kyle snapped, "I work hard for my great A's"

Kenny stared at Kenny and started to laugh, red faced. Everyone looked at each other. What on earth was so funny about what Kyle had just said?

"I'm sure you work very hard for your great Ass" Kenny cracked up

"Shut up" Kyle snapped, irritated

"No, really!" Kenny laughed at his play on words, "In all seriousness, you know how one can light farts?"

"Yeah?" everyone said in unison

"I think you can light-" Kenny lit a match. Just as he did that, Alex widened her eyes and let out the loudest most embarrassing burp, causing Kyle's plastic hat to go up in flames.

"SHIT! My ushanka!" Kyle screamed, slamming it to the snowy ground and stomping out the flames, the green turning into a blackened molten mess.

"Oh shit, I am so sorry!" Alex squeaked, reddening "

Crap! Now everyone can see my ugly hair!" Kyle complained "Fugly hair!" Cartman chortled, "Your hair looks as if someone tried to put a bushfire out with a needle!"

"Shut up, fatass!" Kyle retorted, looking upset

"Your hair looks fine" Alex smiled at him, resisting touching it

"T-thank you" Kyle jumped in surprised

"I think THAT was a ploy for Kyle to lose his hat!" Cartman teased

"N- no it wasn't" Alex hiccuped

"You can't light burps!" Kenny piped up, changing the subject "Unless Alex ate flammables"

"Uh" Alex suppressed a burp, "I think I ate fire"

2. Thou must hang out with the crowd


End file.
